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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350195">i wonder what it would be like to love you.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/icursedthisworld/pseuds/icursedthisworld'>icursedthisworld</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BLACKPINK (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>"mutual pining dumbasses", Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Happy Ending, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, chaennie if you're lisa, minor chaesoo, sad lisa for no reason</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:48:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350195</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/icursedthisworld/pseuds/icursedthisworld</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lisa thinks—no, she is <em>certain</em> that her best friend and the girl that she likes are dating.</p><p>Here's the issue: they're not.</p><p>or</p><p>the one where lisa keeps creating problems that don't exist, jennie receives mixed signals and rosé just wants to be a helpful friend</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>260</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i wonder what it would be like to love you.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello! </p><p>my christmas break started last week and i've been having this story idea stuck in my head after a very weird online lecture, and given that i'm basically locked inside my house i tried to write it. so here i am. </p><p>hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the end of the world. Well, not exactly—Lisa just reckoned she was fairly close to experiencing the most infuriating and painful stage of her life, which was not necessarily catastrophic but definitely stressful and emotionally draining enough to be described in such an exaggerated manner. The worst of all? Her problems were created by herself and herself only.</p><p>There was no doubt that Lisa loved Rosé with her whole heart and soul. From the moment they were forced to share a small, cheap apartment, they had been stuck together like glue, and Lisa could not have asked for a better flatmate. She had learnt to trust and confide in Rosé without second thoughts, they knew each other inside out and no one could ever come between their beautiful friendship. Lisa would always choose Rosé first and vice versa.</p><p>Keeping that in mind, Lisa could not explain how she had let a girl ruin it all.</p><p>It was not just any girl; Lisa would have never risked her friendship over someone insignificant. Well, Lisa never meant to cause any issues between her and Rosé in the first place, but sometimes the heart can be a little stubborn.</p><p>To begin with, Jennie Kim did not even belong to Lisa’s course, nor did she attend any of the events Lisa was involved in anywhere else. The university campus was rather huge, and Lisa had never been keen on exploring. They would have never met if it were not for Rosé’s social butterfly behaviour and her need to find new friends. And ironically, Lisa could not deny that the first time she laid her eyes on Jennie, the attraction was almost immediate… but that was at the start. Rosé introduced them at one of Joy’s usual parties, and Lisa had genuinely wished she had never gone in the first place.</p><p>It was hard not to notice someone like Jennie. Her eyes were perhaps the most memorable feature, or maybe it was her charming voice. Her smile was also quite impossible to forget, especially when Lisa was on the receiving end of it. Either way, Lisa had not been able to take her eyes off her as Rosé spoke about her new acquaintance. Her name was the only piece of information she had been able to register during the whole introduction. Jennie Kim was not a name that could be easily ignored.</p><p>And yet, all it took were a few minutes for that entire first impression to be flipped.</p><p>As soon as Jennie and herself started to indulge in a casual conversation, Lisa realised that Jennie was not exactly her type of person. She was constantly annoyed by the serious attitude the girl had regarding everything in life. Lisa could not make a stupid comment without Jennie pointing out every single flaw in her thought process. Furtive glances of interest turned into glares and annoyed stares, and the night was over rather quickly after that.</p><p>To Lisa’s great dismay, Rosé seemed to love everything about Jennie, and so Lisa found herself being stuck with Jennie more often than she would have liked to.</p><p>The two of them continued to bicker throughout their first year of studies – it was hard to be in the same room without finding a reason to fight. Initially they did not meet very often, but Rosé had been determined to help their friendship improve in one way or another and so Lisa found herself being around Jennie more than she had planned.</p><p>---</p><p>“Why are you in my car again?”</p><p>“I need a ride home.”</p><p>“And why would <em>I </em>drive <em>you </em>home?”</p><p>Jennie shrugged in the most unbothered way possible. Lisa sighed, but she didn’t stop Jennie as she made herself comfortable in the passenger seat and put her seatbelt on.</p><p>“Fine. Am I getting anything in return?”</p><p>“My silence, I guess.”</p><p>“I don’t recall ever telling you a secret.”</p><p>“I meant my <em>actual </em>silence. I won’t say a word during the whole drive, because…” Jennie crossed her arms and leaned back, facing Lisa with a sickening sweet smile, “that’s such a pleasure to you, isn’t it, Lisa?”</p><p>Lisa scoffed. “If you’re gonna be quiet, might as well start now.”</p><p>Looking back, Lisa didn’t know why she accepted to drive Jennie home that day. They were not that close at the time, but Lisa felt as if it was logical to do Rosé’s friend a favour. She wasn’t a horrible person, she was not going to leave Jennie in the middle of the street, regardless of how irritating the girl could get.</p><p>“Why do you hate me so much?”</p><p>Thankfully, Lisa was an experienced driver. If she had not been, Jennie’s sudden question would have certainly made her jump on her seat.</p><p>“I thought you were not going to speak.”</p><p>Jennie didn’t reply, nor face her. Lisa lightly tapped her fingers on the steering wheel.</p><p>“I don’t hate you.”</p><p>She let out the words hesitantly, not because she didn’t mean them, but rather because it was the first time that she had admitted the fact that she didn’t <em>dislike </em>Jennie.</p><p>“You have a weird way of showing that,” Jennie mused, her elbow resting at the bottom of the side window and her eyes staring aimlessly outside.</p><p>Lisa bit her lip.</p><p>“I just think we’re not compatible. You and I… we clash too much.”</p><p>“Is that your polite way of telling me that I piss you off all the time?”</p><p>“I’m not trying to be polite. You do piss me off… <em>most</em> of the time.”</p><p>At that, Jennie laughed quietly to herself. “That’s interesting.”</p><p>“How so?”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, keep driving.”</p><p>-----</p><p>They were not friends. Lisa would say it over and over—Jennie was <em>not </em>her friend. But after being glued to Rosé and Jennie for the majority of the year, it was easy to pretend that they <em>were </em>friends. Jennie was not as obnoxious as the first time Lisa had met her, and Lisa did not mind having her around.  Jennie was close to Rosé, and that meant that she was indirectly close to Lisa. That made some kind of sense, enough for Lisa to gradually let the girl into her life without even thinking of how easy it had been.</p><p>“Are you sure it’s not at home?” Rosé asked for what felt like the hundredth time. And yet again, Lisa shook her head repeatedly.</p><p>The Australian girl picked up Lisa’s drink from her tray and took a generous sip, watching amused as her friend pulled out every single item she had in her backpack, carelessly shaking every notebook and folder in hopes of something falling out.</p><p>“I swear I had it with me,” Lisa whined frustrated.</p><p>“It’s your fault, how can you put a<em> memory card</em> in your pockets and not expect to lose it?” </p><p>“I forgot I pulled it out of the camera,” Lisa grabbed her jacket from the seat beside her and shoved her hand inside its pockets, not aware of the brunette slowly walking up to them from behind.</p><p>“Hey Jennie!” Rosé waved enthusiastically, and the shorter girl grinned as she leaned in for a brief hug.</p><p>Still busy trying to achieve the impossible, Lisa only muttered a small <em>hey</em>.</p><p>Jennie took a seat next to Rosé, eyeing Lisa with a raised brow.</p><p>“What’s up with her?” she whispered to Rosé, who in return tried to suppress a smile.</p><p>“She lost a memory card,” Rosé whispered back, also looking at Lisa.</p><p>“From her camera? How did she even lose something like that?”</p><p>“I don’t know. It’s super small and Lisa can be quite messy.”</p><p>“There is no chance of her finding it, is there?”</p><p>“I <em>will</em> find it,” Lisa stated confidently from behind her jacket, interrupting the hushed conversation her two friends were having about her, “it’s probably somewhere. I just don’t know where.”</p><p>Jennie smirked and leaned forward, enjoying the sight of Lisa faking her composure.</p><p>“You’re making it seem like you’re hiding something, Manoban.”</p><p>Lisa rolled her eyes. “I’m not, it didn’t contain anything major.”</p><p>“So, it wasn’t important?”</p><p>“It was—it had…” Lisa sighed in frustration and let her shoulders drop, “I don’t remember. I used that card for casual shots, the pictures were things I randomly found pretty or interesting.”</p><p>Rosé and Jennie looked at each other, and then back at Lisa.</p><p>“My bet is pictures of Leo,” Jennie commented thoughtfully.</p><p>Rosé nodded convinced.</p><p>“What? No! I—” Lisa dropped her jacket on the chair next to her in defeat, her cheeks turning pink, “...they’re not.”</p><p>No one believed her.</p><p>----</p><p>Summer came by, and maybe Jennie did really become Lisa’s friend. Rosé went out with the brunette every few days, and almost every time she invited Jennie back to the apartment. And of course, Lisa always waited for them. <em>Both of them</em>. There were countless nights the three girls spent together doing absolutely nothing productive. One day it would be game night, the next it would be movie night, it didn’t really matter as long as they could have a good time. And eventually, Lisa started to realise why Rosé spoke so highly of Jennie. Ignoring how beautiful and attractive she was (because that was nothing new), Jennie was <em>really </em>smart. It wasn’t just the way she won <em>every single </em>game they played, Jennie spoke in such an elegant and confident manner that Lisa could listen to her talking all day. She would never admit that, but she was not going to deny it either.</p><p>And most of all, being with Jennie just felt… good. They still argued sometimes, they still teased each other endlessly. But unlike what Lisa initially assumed, she and Jennie were more than compatible. They were not similar, but somehow, they fit in each other’s lives perfectly. It was a weird connection that she never expected to have, and Lisa genuinely thought Jennie felt it too.</p><p>“Do you think a teaspoon means an actual teaspoon or like, a theoretical teaspoon?”</p><p>“If it says add a teaspoon of soy sauce, just add a freaking teaspoon of soy sauce.”</p><p>“But I don’t know how much that is,” Lisa frowned.</p><p>“Estimate, Lisa. You don’t need precise measurements.”</p><p>“But what’s the point in following a recipe if you’re going to guess everything!”</p><p>Jennie pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily. Lisa innocently watched the brunette, waiting for some sort of guidance.</p><p>“Can you let me cook in peace?”</p><p>“I’m helping you!”</p><p>“Right. How about you go and keep Rosie company? I don’t really need your helpful… <em>help.</em>”</p><p>“So why did you let Chaeng chill in her room while I was forced into this cooking lottery?”</p><p>“I didn’t force you, I asked nicely,” Jennie pointed at the taller girl with a wooden spoon, “there’s a difference.”</p><p>“Yeah, whatever.”</p><p>“And also, Rosie and I have been out all day, she deserves to be fed.”</p><p>“And I don’t?”</p><p>“Why do you think I’m cooking dinner in <em>your </em>home?”</p><p>Lisa paused. “Oh, that makes sense.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“Why am I being kicked out of my kitchen then?”</p><p>“Because I feel nice today, so I’m not planning to give you food poisoning.” Jennie put on a fake smile, and Lisa scoffed.</p><p>“Sure, sure. I’ll leave.” Lisa grumpily took off her clean apron and walked away, “I knew Chaeyoung was your favourite.”</p><p>Hearing the mumbled words, Jennie laughed loudly. And even though she couldn’t see her, Lisa smiled at the sound.</p><p>It was the start of the end.</p><p>---</p><p>Towards the end of the summer, something had started to change.</p><p>Instead of coming home early together, Rosé spent the evening out with Jennie. Lisa would not have found it unusual if it wasn’t for the fact that her friend was acting as if she was hiding something. Lisa didn’t overthink it at the time, she merely thought that Rosé was enjoying a night out with a close friend.</p><p>By the time their second year of university started, Lisa was ready to have a fresh start and build her relationship with Jennie all over. She wanted to give herself the chance to get to know the brunette better, and <em>maybe </em>try her luck and see how things progressed between them as something more.</p><p>Her first mistake was not telling Rosé, her <em>best friend</em>, about liking a girl.</p><p>Lisa wanted to make sure that Jennie was interested before asking her flatmate for advice, but she could not have predicted that Rosé was also into Jennie as more than just a friend. The worst of all? Jennie seemed to reciprocate the feeling.</p><p>The first time Lisa had noticed the change in their dynamics was during the initial week of term. The three of them had casually sat together at lunch, and Lisa was more than happy to see Jennie privately without a big group of friends around. However, she had not expected Rosé to greet the brunette with a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. Lisa was caught off guard by the sudden affectionate and clingy behaviour, not even trying to hide her frown at the sight. The Australian girl kept her arm linked with Jennie’s, and whenever she made a funny comment, Rosé giggled uncontrollably and leaned her head on the brunette’s shoulder.</p><p>“What’s up with you two?” Lisa had inevitably questioned. She did not think that she liked Jennie enough to feel jealous, but she knew Rosé enough to be confused and demand answers.</p><p>Her friend had not even registered the hint of annoyance in Lisa’s tone, she was too caught up laughing like a lunatic with Jennie. Seeing that her comment had gone unnoticed, Lisa cleared her throat forcefully and repeated herself. “So? Why are you acting so… strangely?”</p><p>She had tried to sound disinterested, but Jennie suddenly gave her a curious look as if she had not been expecting the observation. She turned to face Rosé with a shy smile. Beside her, Rosé blushed lightly and looked at Jennie with the same knowing grin.</p><p>“Well… Jennie’s helping me with something and… I’m helping her too, and so now… we’re just very close.”</p><p>Jennie gently slapped Rosé’s shoulder and brought a hand up to her mouth to cover her light laugh, her cheeks also turning rosy. Lisa’s brows furrowed at the continuous teasing and blushing.</p><p>“Well, what is this <em>something</em> you’re working on?”</p><p>“You see, it’s a…” Jennie hesitated and scratched her temple as she tried to find the right words. “It’s a project we’re working on.”</p><p>Rosé nodded along, but her gaze was fixed on her food. Lisa kept glancing between the girls, not able to figure out what exactly was going on between them. Clearly, there was something Lisa was not supposed to know.</p><p>“Must be very fun to work together. You guys have a lot in common now, I’m guessing?”</p><p>Rosé snorted and Jennie kicked her under the table, but the brunette did not try to fight her own smirk. “Yeah, that’s right. We have more in common than we thought, right Rosie?”</p><p>“Yes, absolutely.”</p><p>--------------</p><p><strong>Rosé</strong><br/>
at the library with jen, i’ll be home a little late!<br/>
<em>19:32</em></p><p>Lisa did not want to come across as a childish, jealous friend, but she could not help observing how Rosé had been spending more and more time with Jennie outside of class hours. Lisa knew that it would be unrealistic to expect them to study and work during the day only, but there were just too many nights where Rosé claimed to be with Jennie <em>at the library. </em>It was rather unusual and out of character for the Australian girl, Lisa knew more than anyone that Rosé hated the library with a passion and would rather study at a club if necessary.</p><p>But then again, Jennie loved the library. Lisa had seen her sitting at one specific table near the windows during the previous year, always in the company of an older girl that apparently worked there. Of course, Lisa had never intentionally followed Jennie and observed her from afar, she had not been interested in her at the time. It was merely… curiosity.</p><p>Considering her prior knowledge of Jennie’s habits, Lisa was left to conclude that Rosé was trying to be with Jennie as much as possible, which included late night library sessions. She did not think that her friend would have been invested in winning Jennie’s heart, but given her recent behaviour, Lisa realised that Rosé was pretty much head over hills for the pretty brunette. Jennie had taken over her completely, there was not a day where Lisa did not catch Rosé smiling down at her phone like a fool. And maybe Lisa was starting to get annoyed.</p><p>To complicate the situation even further, Lisa’s feeling for Jennie kept growing each day.</p><p>Even though Jennie did have multiple private night meetings with Rosé, when it was just Lisa and her during the day, Lisa could not keep her eyes off her. Jennie was sweet and adorable throughout every interaction they had, never failing to steal smiles, laughs and longing stares from Lisa. The younger girl got into the habit of buying lunch for the both of them every now and then, just so that they could spend their break in Jennie’s department building and enjoy some peace and quiet. She knew it was unfair to have feelings for her best friend’s girl, but there was no harm in being friendly. Well, the harm existed, but it only affected Lisa.</p><p>“You know, I kinda like being around you without all the arguing. It’s… different.”</p><p>Comments like those melted Lisa’s heart, she cherished every word.</p><p>“That’s good, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Considering how we started, yeah.”</p><p>Lisa chuckled and Jennie soon followed. Their unreasonable fights seemed so far away; they were now replaced by endless teasing from both parts. Lisa really, really liked it.</p><p>“I like it too.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Being close to you… and, well, not wanting to yell at you.”</p><p>“Who knows, maybe one day we’ll be even… closer.” Jennie bumped their shoulders playfully, but Lisa’s smile faded.</p><p>She knew that things were going well for Jennie and Rosé, she knew that eventually they would begin to date officially. Lisa really had to start accepting the fact that Jennie would be part of her life as Rosé’s girlfriend, and that whatever she felt for her had to be forgotten completely if she wanted the most important people in her life to be happy.</p><p>------</p><p>For some unknown reasons, Jennie had started to bring a friend along whenever she had to be with both Lisa and Rosé. Her name was Jisoo, older than all three of them as she was in the last year of her course. Lisa had seen her before; it was the same girl that was around Jennie in the library during the previous year. Rosé was surprisingly very determined to make Lisa like the older girl, giving long speeches about how great of a person Jisoo was, and how compatible their personalities would be.</p><p>“I promise Lisa, you and Jisoo share the exact same humour!” she had exclaimed enthusiastically, making Jennie laugh and shake her head amused.</p><p>Lisa was more than certain that her best friend was trying to play matchmaker. Rosé probably wanted to ensure that Lisa didn’t feel like a third wheel whenever she was around her and Jennie, but Lisa didn’t think that bringing the poor girl into the equation was going to help.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll be great friends.” Lisa forced a smile, but somehow Rosé was grinning from ear to ear after hearing Lisa’s willingness to get to know Jisoo.</p><p>Rosé dragged Lisa to a quiet restaurant where Jennie and Jisoo had agreed to meet them for dinner. Of course, Lisa was left to sit next to the new addition to the group, with Jennie and Rosé sitting in front of them respectively.</p><p>At some point, Rosé excused herself and headed to the restroom at the back, with Jennie trailing behind. Lisa couldn’t help but follow her two friends with her gaze, her jaw clenching slightly.</p><p>“So… tell me, Lisa,” Jisoo started, “for how long have you and Chaeyoung been friends?”</p><p>Lisa really didn’t want to be rude to the girl, and although she wasn’t up for forced small talk, she still made an effort to converse. That was probably what her best friend had planned when she left the two of them alone, she assumed.</p><p>“Uh, a year and a half, more or less. We’re flatmates.”</p><p>Jisoo nodded, and then there was awkward silence.</p><p>Moving her food on the plate with her fork, Lisa cleared her throat and tried to continue the conversation. “She’s a great girl, you know. She’s not the type to break hearts or anything, she is… made of gold, to put it simply.”</p><p>As her best friend, Lisa put in a good word for Rosé in hopes that Jisoo would approve of her as Jennie’s… future lover. Rosé would be a fantastic girlfriend, and Lisa had no doubt that she would do anything to make Jennie happy when they will eventually become official. It wasn’t exactly the nicest thought but getting Rosé on Jisoo’s good side was the minimum Lisa could do to help her friend’s relationship.</p><p>“Yeah, I never thought otherwise,” Jisoo smiled. She then glanced to the empty plate Rosé left behind. “She eats really well, doesn’t she?”</p><p>“Yeah, out of her five meals a day, breakfast and dinner are her favourite.”</p><p>“Five—five meals a day?”</p><p>“That’s right.” Lisa started counting with her fingers. “Breakfast, lunch, the meal between lunch and dinner, dinner and, of course, the past-midnight meal.”</p><p>Jisoo’s jaw dropped, and Lisa had not realised that the information she was giving was not exactly very normal.</p><p>“And she still looks like <em>that</em>?” Jisoo questioned in disbelief.</p><p>“I know, that girl has been blessed with fast metabolism.”</p><p>“Her height is probably a blessing too.”</p><p>Jisoo was a nice girl. She was funny, really sweet and easy to talk to, as well as being extremely beautiful. And yet, for Lisa there was no comparison to Jennie. When Rosé and Jennie joined the table again, Lisa could only focus on the girl seated across from her. Jennie’s laugh was probably one of Lisa’s favourite things, although her smile was a wonderful sight too. Sometimes she wondered which part of Jennie made Rosé fall for her.</p><p>“Lisa?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“You okay there? You look a bit pale.”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t feel really well.”</p><p>Those cat-like eyes filled with concern reminded Lisa of why she was unwell in the first place. She could not look at her without feeling a knot in her stomach.</p><p>
  <em>Stop. Stop. Stop.</em>
</p><p>“I should probably get going.”</p><p>“I can come with you?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Rosé added, “maybe it’s better if Jennie goes with you.”</p><p>“I’m fine, don’t worry. Enjoy the rest of the night.”</p><p>Lisa would rather be at home alone, away from Jennie, away from the possibility of ruining Rosé’s plans. It was the right thing to do. It was the only thing Lisa could do.</p><p>Later that night, Rosé stopped by Lisa’s room to check on her. Lisa was not actually sick, and so it was easy to reassure her friend that there was nothing wrong.</p><p>“What did you think of Jisoo?” she questioned before leaving.</p><p>Lisa felt awkward under her friend’s curious gaze.</p><p>“She’s nice.”</p><p>“She’s great, isn’t she? Maybe the four of us should go out again.”</p><p>“Yeah, sounds like a good plan.”</p><p>Lisa didn’t want to offend her friend, she didn’t have the heart to tell her that she would never be interested in dating Jisoo, not when all she could think about was how much it hurt to see Jennie looking happier than ever whenever she was with Rosé.</p><p> </p><p>And so, the days went on. It was always Jennie and Rosé dragging Lisa and Jisoo to ‘hang out’.</p><p>“Jennie will be there!” Rosé always repeated that same line, almost as if she enjoyed seeing Lisa sigh and comply with her plans. Lisa knew that she had to help, as a good friend, she had to support Rosé when she wanted to spend time with Jennie without making it obvious. That was all it took—Rosé mentioned Jennie and Lisa knew she had to go along with them. And of course, Lisa also didn’t feel like leaving Jisoo alone with them and third wheel simply because Lisa was too selfish when it came to her heart.</p><p>Lisa could feel it coming. Soon, Rosé would get the confidence to make her relationship official with Jennie., and Lisa could not stop her from getting what she deserved. She worked hard for Jennie, and Lisa would never try and compete. Well, there never was a competition to begin with, Lisa never stood a chance against someone like Rosé Park.</p><p>-----</p><p>“Do you need help?”</p><p>Lisa stood on top of a chair with her arms stretched above her, holding a brand-new light bulb on one hand and unscrewing the one hanging from her ceiling with her other hand. Her bedroom was almost in pitch darkness, all she had was the shared light from the living room that passed through the open door. Lisa had noticed that her light had stopped working early in the morning, but she had foolishly waited until the evening to actually replace it. However, it was not supposed to be too much work. Lisa had done it before, changing a light bulb was not supposed to take long.</p><p>“No, I got it!”</p><p>“You sure?” Rosé called out again from the laundry room. “Jennie’s free, she can help!”</p><p>“Yeah, do you want me to hold the chair down?” the named girl shouted from the living room. If Lisa had turned her head, she would have probably seen Jennie’s eyes judging her hard.</p><p>“I said I got it!” Lisa repeated frustrated as she removed the old bulb and stood on her toes to grasp the base of the socket, beginning to screw in the replacement bulb.</p><p>A light as bright as the sun shone right through her eyes, and Lisa had barely the time to shriek in horror before she was tumbling down onto the carpeted floor.</p><p>“Lisa!”</p><p>She heard Jennie’s panicked scream before she felt the pain. Lisa’s eyes were pressed tightly together and her back arched off the floor in discomfort. She groaned as she brought her palms to her eyes, rubbing them lightly to try and make her sight go back to normal. Soon after, she sensed someone kneeling beside her, and Lisa knew with certainty that it was Jennie.</p><p>“How much of an idiot do you have to be to not check that the switch was off? That could have gotten you killed,” Jennie hissed angrily, gently palming the back of Lisa’s head in search for a possible injury. Lisa heard her sigh in relief, meaning that she was probably fine.</p><p>Hurried steps resonated through the flat as Rosé ran towards Lisa’s room in her pink slippers. She managed to stop in front of the opened door by holding onto the doorframe tightly to avoid sliding further down the corridor. “What happened? Who screamed? Do I call an ambulance?”</p><p>Lisa felt more and more stupid as she heard her friend’s worried tone.</p><p>“Am I bleeding out? Is there a hole in my head?” she asked with a hint of humour.</p><p>“Luckily for you there’s no blood, but the hole in your head must exist since you couldn’t follow basic safety measures,” Jennie snapped, clearly not amused. “Rosie, can you get some ice for her?”</p><p>“Yeah, of course, I’ll be right back.”</p><p>When she heard Rosé stepping away, Lisa felt smaller hands covering her own. She let Jennie uncover her eyes, but Lisa didn’t attempt to open them.</p><p>“You looked right into the light, right? Would it hurt if you tried to open your eyes now?” Jennie’s thumbs carefully traced Lisa’s closed eyelids. Her voice was quieter now, the initial harshness gone.</p><p>“I can try.” Lisa didn’t really want to. She could have easily fallen asleep with Jennie’s hands caressing every inch of her face.</p><p>“Okay, try slowly.”</p><p>Jennie’s full lips. Jennie’s cute nose. Jennie’s pretty eyes that were looking down at her with worry. They appeared one by one as Lisa blinked, finally taking notice of how close Jennie was to her, the tip of her nose just above hers.</p><p>“Is it painful? Can you see me clearly?”</p><p>“I think I’m dying.”</p><p>“It’s not funny.”</p><p>Lisa finally smiled. “I can see you.”</p><p>“Good,” Jennie muttered softly. “That’s good.”</p><p>Even if she was to go blind, Lisa wouldn’t mind having Jennie’s kind gaze imprinted on her mind as the last thing she’d ever see.</p><p>“I got the ice!” Rosé was finally back, and this time Lisa could glance at her behind Jennie’s shoulder. The Australian girl looked at the item she was holding up proudly, “Well, they’re frozen peas… but it’s supposed to work the same way.”</p><p>Jennie giggled lightly and Lisa couldn’t blame her. Rosé could act adorably in the most unusual situations.</p><p>“Pass them here, Rosie.”</p><p>Rosé stepped closer to the two girls on the floor and handed the bag of frozen peas to Jennie. She then crouched down next to the brunette and reached for one of Lisa’s hands.</p><p>“How are you feeling, Lisa? Should I drive you to the hospital?”</p><p>“Don’t worry Chaeng, I’m good—”</p><p>“We’ll see about that,” Jennie interrupted firmly. “Can you try and sit up really carefully for me?”</p><p>Lisa nodded and proceeded to push her upper body up with her elbows, Jennie’s hand supporting her from behind.</p><p>“That’s great. Now, are you able to tell which area is hurting? Or which side took the fall?”</p><p>“I promise I’m good, falling from heaven was a lot more painful.”</p><p>“Lisa,” Jennie scolded, and Lisa didn’t believe it possible to like being scolded like that.</p><p>“The left shoulder.”</p><p>Jennie grabbed a thin shirt from Lisa’s bed and wrapped it around the frozen peas before gently pressing the improvised ice pack on the area Lisa indicated at. “Leave that there for a while. If you start to feel worse at any point in the next few days, we’ll have to get you checked at the hospital and you can’t argue, okay?”</p><p>Although Lisa had her back to Jennie, she nodded without complaints. Having Jennie take care of her so closely made her almost want to fall again. Almost.</p><p>“Wow Jennie, next time you can be my nurse,” Rosé winked playfully, not noticing Lisa’s grip on her hand loosening slightly.</p><p> “Any time for you, Rosie.”</p><p>The two girls missed Lisa’s dry laugh.</p><p>---</p><p>“Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!”</p><p>The door to their apartment had swung open to reveal a glowing Park Roseanne. Lisa looked up from her laptop and almost fell off the couch when Rosé jumped next to her with the brightest smile gracing her lips.</p><p>“Uh, what?” Lisa questioned unsure. She was taken aback by the unusual level of excitement that her friend was showing.</p><p>“So, it’s going to freak you out a little, but I wanted you to be the first to know.” Rosé took a deep breath and clasped her hands together. Then, she looked at Lisa in the eyes and grinned. “I have a girlfriend!”</p><p>There was nothing Lisa could have done to stop the initial feeling of dejection. No matter how many times she had told herself to be ready for it, she just—wasn’t. The taller girl had probably noticed the lack of reaction. Rosé sat up straighter and gently placed her hand on Lisa’s thigh.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I know I should have told you before that I was seeing someone, but I didn’t want you to feel—”</p><p>“Congratulations!” Lisa leaned forward to engulf her friend in a tight hug. Whatever feelings she may have had for Jennie before had to go. It was over. All that mattered was Rosé‘s happiness, and Lisa would never do anything to put that at risk.</p><p>“Thank you,” Rosé returned the affectionate hug, patting Lisa’s back a few times. When they pulled away, she bit her bottom lip and her cheeks flushed. “I know you might not have expected this, but I’m dating—”</p><p>“I know, I know, I know,” Lisa nodded repeatedly, looking away from Rosé’s puzzled gaze.</p><p>“You… you do?”</p><p>Rosé sounded genuinely surprised, and Lisa had to let out a laugh in disbelief. Rosé and Jennie had been very obvious from the very start, and Lisa was not a fool.</p><p>“Yeah, you guys were not exactly subtle about it,” Lisa forced a smile. “You might as well draw a big <em>J </em>on your forehead and let everyone know.”</p><p>“Ah, then I wasn’t really good as I thought at keeping my big crush on her a secret. It’s funny, Jennie also told me the same thing, but I didn’t believe her.”</p><p>Lisa should have given up long ago. She had temporarily let herself enjoy having Jennie’s attention on her with frequent texts and visits after her stupid accident, but weeks had passed, and she had no excuse to hold back Jennie and Rosé’s relationship. She couldn’t stop them. She had no right to.</p><p>It was too much. Lisa thought it would have been easier to let go of Jennie after she started dating Rosé, but she felt like she was suffocating just at the thought of having to see them openly together.</p><p>“Right, uh, I promised Momo I’d help her with… a thing. I’ll be back late.”</p><p>Lisa put away her laptop and grabbed her coat, rushing out the door before Rosé had the chance to tell her more.</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t know… she seemed quite upset that I didn’t tell her.”</em>
</p><p>Lisa had returned home a couple of hours later, walking into the living room and hearing Rosé’s hushed voice from her bedroom.</p><p>“<em>Yeah, maybe we should have handled it better. But I think we’re doing well. We just need more time.”</em></p><p><em>More than well,</em> Lisa wanted to add, but it wasn’t her place to make comments like that. She didn’t want to invade their privacy any longer, so she quietly headed into her bedroom without letting Rosé notice her. She wished she could have avoided hearing that last line.</p><p>
  <em>“Thank you for everything, Jen. Love you girl, goodnight.”</em>
</p><p>----</p><p>Avoiding would not even come close to what Lisa was trying to achieve. Anything related to her best friend’s relationship made her want to disappear from the universe, there was nothing she could do to erase the constant frustration. It was her fault; she should have never let herself hope for the chance of Jennie having feelings for her and not Rosé. It was so, so stupid.</p><p>But the worst of all? Rosé never shut up about how amazing Jennie was. If it wasn’t for the fact that Lisa knew her best friend had a heart of gold, she would have almost assumed that she was trying to provoke her.</p><p>
  <em>Jennie is super pretty today, don’t you think?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Jennie is really good at cooking, she made me the most delicious lunch when I went to her house the other day. You should come along next time!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I swear, Jennie can literally win every game she plays! Should we have a game night with her and Jisoo? </em>
</p><p>Lisa might have seemed like a terrible friend, but she had no other choice than to turn down every offer to spend time with the three of them together as before. It wouldn’t be the same.</p><p>The more time she could spend away from Jennie, the quicker she could sort herself out.</p><p>---</p><p>It was late in the evening, and Lisa had been out all day. Surprisingly, she had been able to keep herself busy and forget about her personal life for the entire day. She walked up the stairs leading to her flat, a folder of loose papers being held under her arm as she played around with her keys. She was in a good mood for once, almost wanting to whistle on the way up.</p><p>When she reached the front door, she unlocked it using her key and finally stepped inside her apartment. As soon as she set foot in the living room, she immediately held up the folder in front of her face to obstruct the view in front of her, heat creeping up her neck and her cheeks turning red.</p><p>“Jennie—why the hell are you naked?”</p><p>The brunette was sat on the couch, a large white shirt covering the top of her body while her legs were… well, not so covered. It was a sight Lisa had never thought she’d be able to see.</p><p>“I don’t think this classifies as naked, Lisa.”</p><p>“B-but still, can you… put some pants on?”</p><p>“Why?” Lisa heard a quiet laugh from the girl. “Am I making you blush?”</p><p>Jennie’s tone was definitely on the flirtatious side, and Lisa felt more and more awkward.</p><p>“Of course not!” Lisa still didn’t lower her folder, “I’m just trying to be a decent person. Where’s Chaeyoung? Is she also… you know?”</p><p>“She’s in the shower, I asked if I could stay here for a few hours.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“What do you mean <em>why</em>? Am I not welcome here anymore? And—can you please get that thing out of your face?”</p><p>Lisa did not even get the time to reply before she heard Jennie practically marching towards her and snatching the folder out of her hands. Lisa still looked to her side uncomfortable, not wanting to see how close to her Jennie had actually come. However, she felt the soft touch of a finger pressing on the side of her jaw, forcing her to turn and face the shorter girl.</p><p>“What’s going on with you?”</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>“That’s bulllshit. Why are you acting so weird around me?”</p><p>“I’m—I’m not!” Lisa took a step back, creating some much-needed space, “I’m just… why are you not wearing pants?”</p><p>Stupid, stupid, stupid Lisa. She clearly should not have asked a question that had such a clear answer, one that Lisa would rather never hear out loud. However, Jennie’s response was not exactly what she had been expecting.</p><p>“I spilled coffee on myself, so Rosie said I could use some of her clothes but… uh,” Jennie scratched her temple and looked down.</p><p>“But what?”</p><p>“All of her jeans are… you know, a bit too long.”</p><p>“Oh. I see.”</p><p>“Stop. I know you’re about to laugh.”</p><p>“I’m not.”</p><p>“Sure. That really explains the huge grin on your face right now.”</p><p>“It’s nothing, I’m just a naturally happy person.”</p><p>Jennie hit her lightly with the folder she was still holding, letting some of its contents fall onto the ground. As Lisa finally laughed freely, Jennie proceeded to grumpily sit herself back down on the couch, crossing her arms and sending Lisa a fair attempt at a glare. Lisa only found the look really adorable.</p><p>“I would have never imagined that a perfect girl like you could get so aggressive.”</p><p>Jennie froze just as soon as Lisa pressed her lips together and averted her gaze. If Jennie had anything to say about her <em>perfect girl</em> comment, she didn’t mention it. Lisa changed the topic immediately.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’ll see if I can find something for you.”</p><p>Jennie ended up wearing a pair of grey sweatpants that Lisa had provided, which she claimed were of an acceptable size as they <em>only reached her ankles</em>. Of course, they had fit Jennie really, really well.</p><p>Instead of going home, Jennie kindly stayed and prepared dinner for everyone, and since Lisa was not the greatest of help, she simply kept the brunette company in the kitchen as they spoke about anything and everything.</p><p>Until Rosé appeared.</p><p>“What is this wonderful smell?”</p><p>Lisa and Jennie both glanced at the taller girl entering. Lisa noticed how her friend almost automatically made her way next to Jennie, looking down at the grilling meat in awe.</p><p>“Do you want some?” Lisa heard Jennie say quietly. Rosé nodded with excitement, and Jennie picked up some of the meat that was already prepared with her chopsticks, holding her other hand below Rosé’s chin as she fed the awaiting girl.</p><p>Rosé’s pleased hum could have probably been heard from miles away, Lisa thought with a trace of bitterness. Seeing Jennie feed Rosé so lovingly was not exactly something her heart approved of.</p><p>“Oh my god, I’m so in love right now. You’re my favourite chef, wifey.”</p><p>Well, that hurt. Lisa couldn’t help but keep her eyes on Jennie’s cute smile, wishing it was directed at her instead. She loved when Jennie smiled like that.</p><p>As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Lisa immediately diverted her stare elsewhere, at last feeling the guilt in thinking about her best friend’s girlfriend in a way that she just… shouldn’t be.</p><p>But then, Jennie turned around and called her name.</p><p>“Lisa?”</p><p>How she wished she could ignore the way her heart raced at the sound of Jennie’s sweet voice, but Lisa could never resist. She watched how Jennie gestured for her to come closer, and so Lisa did.</p><p>“Here.”</p><p>There she was, offering to feed her just like she did to Rosé a few moments prior. Lisa really was not going to miss what was most likely the only chance she’d get to have Jennie like this, and so she stepped towards her without much thinking. Once she was in front of the shorter girl, Lisa leaned her head down and parted her lips, allowing Jennie to carefully place the meat into her mouth. Lisa never looked away from the beaming brunette, chewing slowly and letting the taste invade every corner of her mouth.</p><p>“Is it good?”</p><p>Lisa nodded. Jennie smiled from ear to ear.</p><p>“Jennie’s good at everything she does, right Lisa?”</p><p>“Yeah, she is.”</p><p>Rosé was one lucky girl.</p><p>---</p><p>Lisa had to make it stop.</p><p>It didn’t matter that she liked Jennie, there was no way she would let herself get in the way of Rosé’s happiness. It was clear and simple, she had to make Jennie understand that she would never hurt Rosé, and that it was her duty as a friend to ensure that Jennie wouldn’t do that either.</p><p>“Hey Lisa, where are you headed to?”</p><p><em>To tell your girlfriend that I can’t be around her for your sake, </em>Lisa wanted to say.</p><p>“Just going on campus, I have a few things to do.”</p><p>“Can you pass by the library please?”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>Rosé placed a plastic container in a paper bag and handed it to Lisa. “Can you give this to Jisoo? She didn’t get to eat lunch today and she still has to work for a few more hours.”</p><p>Lisa eyed the insides of the bag, and then looked up at Rosé again.</p><p>“You made her food?”</p><p>For some reason, her best friend’s cheeks turned a little red. “I know I’m not the best cook, but I tried.”</p><p>“That’s nice of you… I guess.”</p><p>“Sorry, I would have gone myself, but I’ve got to finish some urgent work.”</p><p>“No, it’s fine. I’ll just give it to her.” Lisa took a few steps towards the door, but then turned around before exiting. “Don’t you have… anything for Jennie?”</p><p>Rosé looked perplexed for a few seconds, but then her eyes opened wide as if she had some sort of realisation. “Oh! OH! Uh, sure, I—” she patted the pockets on her jeans and then pulled out a few coins, “here.”</p><p>Lisa watched as her friend grabbed her hand and dropped the coins on her palm.</p><p>“Buy her some coffee, so you can go and see her to… give her the coffee.”</p><p>Rosé winked, and Lisa had no explanation for it.</p><p>“She’s alone, you’ll probably find her in the usual room on the first floor of the Arts building.”</p><p>“Right, yeah.”</p><p> ---</p><p>As promised, Lisa stopped briefly by the library to give Jisoo the food. The older girl seemed really touched by her friend’s gesture and Lisa said she’d let Rosé know she liked it.</p><p>Regardless of how unusual the request was, Lisa still went and bought Jennie a cup of coffee. She wasn’t sure if Jennie was going to consider it a thoughtful gift from her girlfriend, but that was not really Lisa’s problem. Just as Rosé mentioned, Lisa found the girl alone in the room she usually worked in.</p><p>Jennie was sitting in front of a mannequin, one leg elegantly resting on top of the other as she leaned against the back of the chair. Her arms were crossed, and her eyes were staring at the plastic figure in front of her. The room was dimly lit, the lights at the other end of the room were turned off, making Jennie’s presence even more obvious. Lisa almost let a smile show at the serious expression the girl was sporting.</p><p>“I don’t think it’s going to move, if that’s what you’re waiting for.”</p><p>Jennie’s head snapped towards Lisa’s direction at the sound of her voice. She raised an eyebrow at the younger girl’s unannounced visit, but she faintly smiled as a greeting.</p><p>“I wasn’t.” She faced the mannequin once again. “Just making sure everything is perfect.”</p><p>“Looks great to me.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Lisa didn’t try to say anything after that. For some reason, seeing Jennie so focused on her creation made Lisa forget what she was supposed to say in the first place.</p><p>“So? What brings you here?”</p><p>“Uh, just passing by.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>Jennie did not believe her, and Lisa could tell simply by the small smirk pulling at the brunette’s lips.</p><p>“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about… Rosé.”</p><p>“What about her?”</p><p>Lisa rubbed the back of her neck nervously and stepped towards the seated girl. She grabbed a nearby chair and placed it right next to Jennie’s, dropping herself down on it and letting out a big sigh. Jennie stared at her confused. Before starting her planned talk, Lisa handed Jennie the coffee she had bought.</p><p>“You got this for me?”</p><p>“It’s from Rosé, actually.” <em>From your loving girlfriend that deserves all the happiness in this world. </em> “She asked me to buy it for you.”</p><p>“Oh,” Jennie took a quick sip and left the cup on the table beside her. “That was sweet of her.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Is that why you came?”</p><p>Lisa hesitated. She had given herself plenty of time to get over what she felt for Jennie, but nothing worked out. She didn’t have a choice. She had to do it.</p><p>“You know, Chaeyoung and I have been friends for quite long. I never thought I’d find someone like her. We just complement each other, you know?”</p><p>Although still quite lost, Jennie nodded. Lisa cleared her throat and continued.</p><p>“So, when it comes to her dating life, I want the best for her.”</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>“I would never get in the way of what makes her happy. And no matter what I want or wish for, I could never hurt Rosé. She always comes first for me.”</p><p>“Lisa, I honestly have no clue about what you’re trying to say.”</p><p>“What I mean is,” Lisa turned on her chair and let her arm rest on the back of Jennie’s chair, “I know how close the three of us are, and… even though I like how we are, and I’m really glad to have you as a friend, I think we should…”</p><p>Lisa hesitated and looked down at her lap, not noticing the new spark in Jennie’s gaze.</p><p>“You think that we should…?”</p><p>Lisa groaned. “I don’t know how to say it without making things weird between us.”</p><p>“It’s fine, Lisa. Keep going,” Jennie started to lean closer, “please, just keep going.”</p><p>With Jennie’s warm eyes staring up at her and her face so close, Lisa found it nearly impossible to formulate a coherent sentence.</p><p>“I—Jennie, I know we’ve been doing really well as friends, but since some things have clearly changed, I really don’t think we can be… you know… <em>friends </em>anymore.”</p><p>To Lisa’s surprise, Jennie nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, I actually just—feel the exact same way.”</p><p>Taken aback by both Jennie’s statement and her sweet smile, Lisa furrowed her brows. “Uh, you do?”</p><p>“Yes, absolutely.”</p><p>Jennie agreed. Jennie didn’t want to keep being friends either. Did that make it easier for Lisa? Not really. She never thought that her friendship meant so little to Jennie, and although she was about to end whatever connection they built, it still hurt that she could have never had a chance to be with her even if she had tried.</p><p>“Okay, then.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“So, we’re good?”</p><p>The last thing Lisa heard was a whispered “<em>more than good”</em> before she felt Jennie’s hand on the back of her neck, pulling her head closer to meet her lips.</p><p>And <em>holy fucking shit.</em></p><p>Jennie was kissing her.</p><p>She was kissing Jennie.</p><p>After weeks of forcing her feelings to disappear, Lisa felt as if her heart was about to explode. Her hands started to tremble, and yet somehow, they still found their way to Jennie’s waist.</p><p>Kissing her felt so right.</p><p>And then, reality hit hard.</p><p>Jennie was dating Rosé <em>and kissing her. </em>And that was definitely so fucking wrong.</p><p>With that thought in mind, Lisa pushed herself back and jumped up from her chair, almost tripping as she took multiple steps backwards.</p><p>“Y-you… how could you…”</p><p>Jennie also stood up and attempted to approach the panicking girl, but Lisa repeatedly shook her head, almost on the verge of crying.</p><p>“I told you how important Rosé is to me,” she finally let out with a shaky voice, “I told you I didn’t want to hurt her. How could you do this?”</p><p>Jennie’s look of concern turned into disbelief and annoyance.</p><p>“What are you talking a—”</p><p>“You’re a terrible person, Jennie Kim!”</p><p>And with that, Lisa walked out of the door as fast as she could, not looking back to see the seething brunette she had left behind.</p><p>“What the actual fuck,” Jennie spat out at last.</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em>Jennie cheated.</em>
</p><p>Lisa watched as her best friend patted the space on the couch next to her.</p><p><em>Jennie cheated, but I’ve done worse, </em>Lisa kept thinking to herself.</p><p>Rosé smiled brightly at her as she always did. Lisa had told her she had something to say, and Rosé seemed to have a very positive feeling about it.</p><p>
  <em>Jennie kissed me. I kissed Jennie. I let it happen.</em>
</p><p>“So? What is it?”</p><p>She couldn’t hide it. She ruined everything. It was her fault. There was no point in waiting.</p><p>“I kissed your girlfriend.”</p><p>Lisa knew that no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t have said that in any nicer way. The act itself was enough to highlight the gravity of her action regardless of how she said it. And given the way Rosé’s smile dropped instantly, she understood how bad it was too.</p><p>“You… what?”</p><p>The words were said in a whisper, but the pain could be felt loud and clear. Lisa knew there was no turning back.</p><p>“I’m so, so sorry. I should have never gone to see her, I should have—”</p><p>“What the fuck is wrong with you, Lisa?”</p><p>Witnessing Rosé being furious scared Lisa beyond imagination. But she deserved to be yelled at, she deserved it all. Rosé wasn’t the type to argue, or at least, she never had a reason to have a serious fight with Lisa. But after what she had done, Lisa expected nothing less.</p><p>“I don’t know, Chaeyoung,” Lisa could feel the tears blurring her vision. How could she ever explain it? “I… I liked her Chaeng, I really liked her. But then you guys started dating and I wanted to tell her I couldn’t be around her anymore because you mean the world to me, but then I… she—”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me?” Rosé rubbed her temple as she listened to her friend’s confession, “if you liked her before we started dating, why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>And Lisa couldn’t reply. Why didn’t she tell her? If she had been honest from the start, it would have been easier to keep her distance. Rosé would have understood her. She always did.</p><p>“I guess… I was worried about making things weird between us.”</p><p>Rosé scoffed. “As if kissing my girlfriend is a much better option.”</p><p>Lisa looked down in shame. Rosé was really pissed, and she has every right to be. A long minute of silence passed, and Rosé finally let out a frustrated sigh.</p><p>“I just don’t understand, Lisa. You never showed signs of liking her. I didn’t even think you were that close!”</p><p>Lisa shrugged weakly. “I honestly don’t know. I never thought I’d feel this way about her.”</p><p>Falling for Jennie was the worst thing that could have happened to her, and yet Lisa didn’t think she could have ever avoided it.</p><p>Rosé’s eyes stayed on her for a few seconds, but Lisa knew her thoughts were all over the place.</p><p>Then, the taller girl stood up and sighed deeply.</p><p>“I guess it’s best if I break up with her,” she stated softly, and Lisa’s heart broke into pieces in hearing that.</p><p>“No, no, Chaeyoung you can’t—”</p><p>“Let’s be honest here, even if we kept being together, it will never be the same. I can’t do that to you, and I can’t do that to myself.” Rosé bit her lip. “And I guess Jisoo was not into me as much as I thought.”</p><p>
  <em>Jisoo?</em>
</p><p>“And here I was telling Jennie that I was <em>certain </em>you liked her,” Rosé laughed bitterly. “I must have looked like a fucking idiot trying to get the two of you together.”</p><p>Lisa felt like she had stopped breathing completely.  She stood up abruptly, going up to Rosé and holding her shoulders.</p><p>“You’re dating Jisoo?”</p><p>“Are you being serious right now—”</p><p>“Please answer me, is Jisoo the girl you’re dating? The girl that you’ve been dating this whole time?”</p><p>“Yeah, but not anymore I guess—”</p><p>“Fuck!” Lisa screamed as she let go of her best friend. “Fuck, fuck, <em>fuck</em>.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Lisa ran her hands through her hair, pacing around the living room like a mad woman.</p><p>“I didn’t kiss Jisoo.”</p><p>“Lisa, I swear you’ve been tearing my brain apart in these last ten minutes, what the fuck are you talking about now?”</p><p>“I thought—” Lisa stopped and took a deep breath, clenching her jaw as she thought of every assumption that she had gotten wrong. “I thought you and Jennie were together.”</p><p>“Me and Jennie?”</p><p>Lisa nodded.</p><p>“What the fuck, we’ve only ever been good friends!”</p><p>“You guys were so close and… and I thought you liked her, and I didn’t want to get in your way even when I also liked her.”</p><p>“Hold on… you’re telling me that the girl you kissed and have feelings for is Jennie? Not Jisoo?”</p><p>When Lisa confirmed it, Rosé let out a long breath of relief and fell down on the couch with a satisfied smile. “Well, those are all my problems solved at once.”</p><p>“Chaeyoung, I fucked up really badly.”</p><p>“Why? You kissed, so you can be together now and leave me alone.”</p><p>“I thought she cheated on you! I called her a terrible person! I…” Lisa groaned, “she probably doesn’t want to see me ever again.”</p><p>“Yeah, she’s pissed.”</p><p>“And I will never—wait, how do you know?”</p><p>“She’s been ignoring every text I’ve sent her.”</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>“Lisa, how on earth did you manage to have this misunderstanding? I never said I liked Jennie, and I even tried to get you closer to her after she told me she liked you.”</p><p>“She told you that?”</p><p>Rosé nodded. “A little before last summer she found out I liked Jisoo, and she offered to help me if I, in return, helped her spend more time with you.”</p><p>“That’s why she kept coming here? For me? To spend time with me?”</p><p>“Yeah. It was pretty obvious, if you asked me. And lately you’ve been so weird around her, she got worried.”</p><p>“I’m so fucking stupid.”</p><p>“Right now? Yeah, you are. Get out that door and fix things before she gives up on your stupid ass.”</p><p>Lisa didn’t have to be told twice before she was running back to Jennie.</p><p>----</p><p>Unsurprisingly, the room Jennie had been occupying an hour before was now empty. There was no sign of the girl in any of the other rooms either. Lisa tried her luck by running around the nearby places surrounding the building, but Jennie was nowhere to be found. Lisa even stopped by the library again to ask Jisoo, but the girl simply told her that Jennie was probably on her way home. Lisa knew that if she couldn’t find Jennie that night, there was still a chance of talking to her at some point during the following days. But thinking about how frustrated Jennie must have felt after her stupid rejection, Lisa did not want to waste any more time.</p><p>The sun had set by then, and Lisa didn’t stop searching. Since Jisoo didn’t send her a message notifying her of Jennie’s arrival at home, Lisa hoped that she could still find her. She continued to look in every direction as she walked, ignoring the few people she accidentally bumped against. Her eyes couldn’t stay still, she had to check every place, every street, anywhere that Jennie might have stopped by before going home.</p><p>And then Lisa remembered.</p><p>Jennie didn’t own a car. Jennie did not have anyone to drive her home because Lisa was usually the one that took her home when she worked until late. Maybe it was a long shot, but Lisa had to try. She had to check. And so, with the last bit of energy she had left in her body, she ran.</p><p>Maybe it was luck, maybe it was fate, or maybe there were some unknown forces in the universe that were on Lisa’s side, but <em>Jennie was there.</em></p><p>With her long black coat and a scarf that practically covered half of her small face, Jennie was sitting quietly at the bus stop by herself. Her eyes were fixed on the ground as she presumably waited for the next bus, with her legs stretched out and both hands inside her coat pockets. Lisa stopped on the sidewalk right across from her, catching her breath from the sprint. Somehow, just the sight of Jennie looking so fucking tiny and adorable made Lisa temporarily forget about her lungs about to burst.</p><p>Jennie did not notice her just yet, and Lisa took her chance. She looked left and right, and then swiftly crossed the nearly empty road that separated them. She could not afford to have any hesitation that time, and so she stepped closer and closer until she was standing right in front of the seated brunette.</p><p>When a pair of familiar black boots came into her view, Jennie raised her head and glanced up. Lisa just stood, waiting for some kind of reaction. Shouting, yelling, screaming—anything. Jennie had the right to be mad, Lisa would take it all.</p><p>But instead, Jennie just mumbled a small <em>hey</em> and looked back down. Lisa opened her mouth to reply, but she was taken aback by the weak greeting. She resigned to taking a seat next to Jennie, the small space forcing their sides to touch.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she sighed.</p><p>Jennie wouldn’t look at her, but Lisa noticed what seemed like a pout forming on her lips.</p><p>“So, now you want to talk to this <em>terrible person, </em>huh?”</p><p>“I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Stop saying that.”</p><p>“I can’t. I’m really fucking sorry, Jennie.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Jennie huffed, “I guess I got it all wrong.”</p><p>“No, I’m the one that—”</p><p>“It’s my fault, Lisa. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I didn’t know you were in love with Rosé.”</p><p>“Wait, what?” Lisa stared at Jennie with wide eyes.</p><p>“Oh please, are you going to deny it now?”</p><p>“Fuck, this is going so wrong.”</p><p>“Tell me about it.”</p><p>“No, I mean—” Lisa groaned in frustration. “I thought you were Chaeyoung’s girlfriend, okay?”</p><p>Jennie’s brows furrowed. “What? How? Rosie and Jisoo started dating weeks ago.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know that now. I just assumed… it was you.”</p><p>“And... how did you come to that conclusion, exactly?”</p><p>“I just…” Lisa shrugged, “I saw how close you two were during the summer, and… Chaeng always spoke so well about you. You were always spending time together privately and I just… I just assumed.”</p><p>Jennie shook her head, “she was just helping me.”</p><p>“She told me. I know that now.”</p><p>“Do you also know why she was helping me?”</p><p>Lisa’s cheeks turned red and she shyly looked at her lap as she nodded.</p><p>“I… I also like you.” Lisa rubbed her feet against the ground. “Since the summer and… maybe a little before.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Lisa finally looked up to see Jennie’s little grin. “You knew?”</p><p>Opening up her bag from beside her, Jennie rummaged inside it until she found a brown envelope. She pulled it out and offered it to a very confused Lisa. The type of envelope was not new to her, she had seen it before during the times she had to get the photos from her camera printed.</p><p>“What’s this?” she questioned, holding the envelope between her fingers as she let the pictures inside slide out.</p><p>When she took a closer look to the contents, Lisa blushed furiously.</p><p>“T-these are from…”</p><p>“Yeah.” Jennie stated simply.</p><p>The memory card she had lost at the end of the last year. The one she assured she only used for <em>pretty </em>or <em>interesting </em>things. It was no surprise that there were plenty of shots that pictured Jennie being absolutely beautiful.</p><p>“How did you find it?”</p><p>“Rosie invited me to your apartment one day to hang out while you were visiting a friend, and it fell out of your jacket’s pocket when Rosé was moving your clothes into the laundry room. She joked about you being a cat paparazzi and wanted to show me but…” she reached out to grab one of the pictures, “it seemed like cats were not the only thing you were interested in.”</p><p>Lisa bit her lip and looked away embarrassed. It happened once, twice, maybe a few more times than she remembered. Clearly, Lisa’s attraction to Jennie had been there from the start.</p><p>“You must have thought I was a creep, right?” she laughed awkwardly.</p><p>“Maybe for a few seconds,” Jennie mused, “but that’s when I realised that you were attracted to me to some level. And, well, it was also how I started to accept that the attraction was mutual. I never had such beautiful pictures taken of me, so I was mostly just flattered.”</p><p>It was never the picture. It was always the subject.</p><p>“You’re always beautiful,” Lisa blurted out without thinking.</p><p>Now it was Jennie’s turn to blush. She let out a breathy laugh and played with her fingers.</p><p>Lisa just stared in silence. If she could, she would never stop taking pictures of Jennie. She had the urge to capture her beauty at all times. Jennie glanced her way again, and Lisa could see the newfound warmth in them.</p><p>“If I was to kiss you again, would you push me away?”</p><p>Letting the pictures rest between them, Lisa leaned forward and kissed her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i was supposed to post this on christmas but I didn't finish it on time (clearly me and deadlines don't get along), hopefully you can still consider it a gift from me to, well, anyone that's reading. </p><p>i hope you all have an amazing new year, try to stay safe and positive!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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